Hold Me Tonight
by Char-sensei
Summary: ~*YAOI WARNING*~ SUGURU/HIRO**** Suguru loves Hiro, but he doesn't think Hiro feels the same about him. Will he find the courage to tell him how he feels, or will the guitarist discover his friends feelings for him in a different way? r&r please. ^_^
1. I need your touch

Hey everyone. I know I really shouldn't start another fic, but I just had to. These two are just so cute together!  
  
Title: Hold Me Tonight  
  
Pairing: Suguru/Hiro  
  
Warnings: Yaoi (m/m relationship), minor language, masterbation, and sex.  
  
Archive: sure, I just want to know where.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just use them. Don't sue me. It'll be a waste of your time.  
  
Now on with the story!  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: I need your touch  
  
April 6  
  
  
  
How long has it been? Two years? It doesn't seem like it's been that long.  
  
I still remember the first time I saw him...  
  
I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was like a...god? Yeah, I suppose so.  
  
Everything he did hypnotized me. It still does.  
  
The way he moves, when he plays his guitar.  
  
The passionate look he gets on his face when he talks about something that matters to him.  
  
I wish I could be the cause of that look.  
  
Just for once.  
  
I want to be the one to make him smile. I want to make him laugh.  
  
I've rarely ever seen a smile on his face. A true smile. I think he just pretends.  
  
It makes me sad. I want to make him happy. I don't think I can. I can't even make myself happy.  
  
I've really screwed things up haven't I?  
  
I always do. Oh look, now I'm crying. How pathetic. I wonder what he would say if he saw me now. Would he laugh? No, he wouldn't. I know that.  
  
He is too kind.  
  
If he is so kind, why is he breaking me heart? Why won't he let me move on?  
  
Hell, even I know that answer. He doesn't know. If he did..? I don't think he'd laugh or make fun of me. He'd probably let me down nicely.  
  
"I'm sorry Suguru, but I don't feel the same. I'm not into other guys."  
  
I can just see it now.  
  
My life would be ruined.  
  
Wait...it already is. It was ruined the day I let myself fall.  
  
I've been falling ever since. I need him to catch me. To hold me close. To whisper in me ear, that he feels the same. That he loves..no!  
  
I won't even let myself think it. It'll never be possible.  
  
He has Ayaka-san. He loves her.  
  
There is no room for a freak like me.  
  
I'll be fine though.  
  
One day, I'll be able to look at him, without feeling myself fall in love all over again.  
  
I wait eagerly for that day.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Suguru Fujisaki closed his Journal, and tucked it into the side of his suit case. He wiped away his tears and walked up to the mirror and looked at his reflection.  
  
"Oh, how pitiful. Look at me, I'm a mess." He said to himself. "He'll be back soon. I can't let him see me like this."  
  
Suguru walked back to his suitcase and pulled out his pajamas. Then he walked solemnly to the hotel bathroom. He closed and locked the door then leaned against it. 'Why? Why did this happen to me? He'll never think of me as anything more than a kid. His bandmate. Never his...' He let that thought trail off. He unhurriedly undressed and turned on the shower. Once it was the right temperature he stepped in.  
  
The hot water cascaded down his body, caressing parts of him, he hadn't allowed anyone to touch before. Thoughts of Hiro came unbidden to his mind. He closed his eyes and imagined Hiro in the shower with him. Holding him close. Trailing kisses down his neck, and across his chest.  
  
Suguru's hands began to imitate the things he wanted Hiro to do to him. He slid his hand across his chest, and he roughly pinched his nipple, imagining it was Hiro's mouth. His hand trailed lower until it got to his engorged length. He wrapped his fingers around it and began rubbing.  
  
A moan came unbidden, and he bit his lower lip to keep quiet. Images of Hiro passed through his mind and he stroked faster and harder. His hips began to buck, and he felt his climax coming. He bit harder on his lip to keep any sounds from coming.  
  
His other hand went between his legs, and he fingered his tight, opening. He quickly slipped his finger inside until he found his prostate. He gently prodded it and that was it. He came, and his seed splattered the other wall.  
  
Suguru collapsed against the wall and buried his head in his hands and began crying. The whole thing had left him feeling lost and empty. Even worse than he had felt before.  
  
When the tears passed he stood up shakily, and finished his shower. When he was done he turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel. He dried off and got dressed. He stepped out of the bathroom running his hand through his still wet hair.  
  
"Hey Fujisaki! What took you so long? I've been waiting. It's not like you're the only person in Japan who stinks and needs a shower!" He heard Shuichi's normal obnoxious voice call out. He looked up, and saw him and Hiro sitting on one of the beds looking through a manga.  
  
"I didn't know you were back yet. Shindou-san. Gomen." He said watching Hiro. He looked up and gave him a small smile. Suguru felt his heart flutter.  
  
Shuichi walked past him into the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed Hiro turned back to him.  
  
"Suguru, are you alright?" He asked concernedly.  
  
"Hai, I'm fine. Why?" Suguru asked, refusing to look Hiro in the eye.  
  
"You never let Shuichi talk to you like that, and your eyes are kind of red and puffy. You look like you've been crying." Suguru felt his throat tighten.  
  
"Thank you for your concern, but I assure you I am alright."  
  
Hiro got up and walked over to where Suguru was standing. "Are you?" He made him look him in the eye. "Are you really alright?"  
  
Hiro could see the pain behind those brown depths. He was so close. If Suguru only leaned forward a few inches there lips would meet and..Suguru quickly looked elsewhere. "What is bothering you?"  
  
"Nothing." Suguru said firmly. He pulled away from Hiro, before he could see the tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"I'm tired now. I'm going to bed." Suguru said, hoping to end the conversation. If he stayed that close to Hiro for much longer, he was sure he'd do something he'd regret. "I'll see you in the morning."  
  
'Why do you do this to me, Hiro? Why can't you see what you do?'  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
~*~  
  
Review please. Tell me what you think. I need to know if you like it if I'm going to continue. No flames, but constructive criticism is always welcome.  
  
If anyone, except Shadoe, knows what significance April 6th holds, I'll write a fic, especially for them, with any pairing they want. 


	2. Stargazing

Ooh! I'm so happy! People liked my story! I wasn't sure if anyone would. Well, I told you if enough people reviewed I'd post the next chapter, and I must admit, I'm satisfied with the number of reviews I got. So here it is...Chapter 2!  
  
One more thing I added in the author notes of chapter 1, the first person- besides Shadoe- who can guess what significance April 6th has (the date at the beginning of Suguru's journal entry) can pick any pairing they want and I'll write a fic for them. So, everyone review, and give me your ideas.  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Stargazing  
  
Suguru sat up suddenly, awaking from his nightmare. 'That's what I get for eating chocolate before bed.' Suguru slowly slipped out of bed trying not to wake the other occupants of the room.  
  
He grabbed his journal and a pen and quietly left the hotel room, not noticing the dark eyes that watched him from the other bed. He walked up the stairs, and found the entrance to the roof. He walked over the edge of the building and sat down.  
  
He looked up at the stars, watching them for a moment, before he opened his journal and started writing again.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
April 7  
  
It's not fair. I never asked for this.  
  
Why can't I be normal? Why did I have to go and fuck everything up by falling in love with him?  
  
I had a very close encounter earlier. I nearly screwed things up even more than they already are.  
  
I almost lost my control.  
  
He was so close. I almost kissed him.  
  
Whatever happens, I can't let something like that happen again.  
  
I need to set up boundaries for myself. I need to make sure something like that doesn't happen again.  
  
I just need to forget.  
  
How do you forget? How do I make these thoughts that haunt me, day and night, just go away?  
  
Honestly, I don't think I can.  
  
I try. God knows how hard I try, but nothing seems to work.  
  
Should I run? Will I be able to escape him then?  
  
I've been running my whole life, what makes me think it'll work now?  
  
I should give up  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Suguru heard a noise behind him, and froze. He slowly turned around. He dropped his journal when he saw Hiro standing there. He looked surprised at being caught.  
  
"I...um...you see...I saw you leave the room, and I wanted to make sure you were all right." Hiro said uncertainly.  
  
'Why was Hiro stuttering? How long was he standing there?' Suguru wondered to himself.  
  
Suguru suddenly realized his face was covered in tears, and he hurriedly wiped them away before Hiro could notice. Too late.  
  
"Suguru...are you crying?" He asked, the concern evident in his voice.  
  
"No." Suguru lied.  
  
"Yes you are." Hiro sat down next to him.  
  
"Fine I am." Suguru replied curtly.  
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
"It's not important." Suguru stated, hoping the auburn haired boy would get the hint, and leave. Hiro did no such thing.  
  
"It must be important if you're crying." Hiro looked at the small boy, who always acted so much more mature than his age. He desperately wanted to help, but he didn't know how. "Look, Suguru. I know we haven't known each other very long, but if something is bothering you, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about it. I'm your friend you can tell me anything. I won't judge you."  
  
Suguru grunted at the irony of that statement.  
  
"I mean it Suguru. I care about you." Hiro stopped abruptly.  
  
'Did Hiro just say he cared about me? I must be dreaming.'  
  
"What I mean is, you're like a brother to me. I want to help you. Will you please tell me what's wrong?" Hiro was beginning to sound desperate.  
  
"Sorry Hiro, I can't. You wouldn't understand. I need to work this out on my own. There is nothing you can do to help." Suguru stood up and walked back inside. Not realizing one crucial detail. He left his journal sitting on the edge of the building next to Hiro.  
  
Hiro sat there, watching the retreating back of his friend, unable to do anything to stop him.  
  
'I really do care for him. Why can't he see that? He never treats me more than a co-worker. Is that all I am to him?'  
  
"Dammit Suguru. Why can't you see I want to help you? Why won't you open up to me?" He looked down and saw the journal still sitting where Suguru left it. "What?"  
  
He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself. 'Gomen, please forgive me Suguru.'  
  
He opened it to the first page and started reading.  
  
~*~  
  
So what do you think? Is it too short? Please review. 


	3. Confrontation on a rooftop

Hi, sorry this took so long everyone! I'm really very sorry. I really appreciate all the wonderful reviews you all gave me. That's what finally got me to stop being lazy. I hope you like this chapter.  
  
***  
  
Suguru lay in bed staring at the popcorn ceiling, letting his eyes trace imaginary pictures that he saw in it. It'd been about a half-an-hour since he'd returned to the hotel room, and Hiro still wasn't back yet. 'Should I go see if he's alright? I did leave very abruptly.'  
  
He sat up, and reached into his bag to grab his journal, when he gasped. He'd left it on the roof! He quickly jumped out of bed, not bothering to grab a sweater, he ran to the roof as fast as his legs could take him. "Please don't let me be too late."  
  
He skidded to a stop on the roof, right in front of Hiro. The older boy looked up, with tears running down his face.  
  
"Suguru...why didn't you tell me?"  
  
He felt ice clutch his heart. "Why do you think I didn't tell you?!" How could the other violate his privacy like that?  
  
"Stupid question, I know." Hiro stood up, and reached out to touch Suguru's arm.  
  
"Don't touch me." He said in a deadly calm voice. He snatched his journal out of the others hand, and fled down the stairs, leaving Hiro with a shocked look on his face.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Wow...I did not expect that to happen. Kinda caught me by surprise.  
  
Well, sorry its so short...but at least its something. After I update my other stories, I'll try and do this one to. Thank you everyone who has been very patient with me. I'll try not to take so long between updates this time. 


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